“Archaeologists have discovered an incredible array of amulets, gems, and lucky charms in Pompeii. Researchers think that the mysterious trove belonged to a female sorcerer who could have been a victim of Mount Vesuvius more than 2,000 years ago.”
abusive parents
will go off about how expensive it is to keep you around and how they have no
money and what a fucking burden you are and they don’t see the irony?
dude. you MADE
me. what the fuck were you thinking. stupid idiot loser. go back to that moment
and don’t have sex. problem fucking solved. what the fuck do you expect me to
do, die now that you decided having kids is inconvenient? wow. maybe you should
have thought this thru.
when my mom says this shit to me i typically reply “well if kids are so expensive then you should have had an abortion” to which she replies “but i wanted you” and i say “then you made this choice, you did this to yourself. its not my fault you made a bad financial decision” and then she gets so mad that she refuses to speak to me for a while. she hasnt brought this up in over 2 months now.
in the same vein: don’t fuck your kids up and then complain about all the money you’re spending on therapy
2019 09 01,
úgy elment az augusztus, amit a mozdulatlanságért, a forróságért és a csöndért szeretek, mintha itt se lett volna, pedig szeretnék duplázni. punk lett a kert, meghagyom egy széles téglalapban a kiszáradó katángokat, füveket. ez az én hozzájárulásom a háborítatlansághoz, lakják be a forró talajról felmászó csigák.
concept: a game called “john mulaney or cecil palmer?” where you have to guess if a quote was said by popular stand-up comedian john mulaney or fictional radio host cecil gershwin palmer
this might sound easy, but please keep in mind that john mulaney has
said “whoa, that tall child looks terrible! get some rest, tall child!
you can’t keep burning the candle at both ends!” and cecil palmer has
said “alligators: can they kill your children? yes.”
John has said “🎶Because we’re Delta Airlines, and life is a fucking nightmare! 🎶” and Cecil has said “Delta Airlines, because it’s not like you’re safe anywhere else.”
I love both these things immensely but tjis was wAaaay harder than I thought it would be
This seems like something everyone would like I got a 73% what did all of you get?
People in the notes saying “John Mulaney escaped from Night Vale” you fools, John Mulaney got stranded for three days in Night Vale after a canceled connecting flight and was too anxious to do anything but act like it was all Normal and Fine.
John Mulaney after hearing Cecil go on an absolute tangent about Carlos’s hair on live radio: Now we don’t have time to unpack ALL that
Is your landlord a piece of shit and refusing to fix stuff around your place? If you’re living in the US, most cities have a section on their website for building code enforcement. Find the contact information for the department and tell them what’s happening. Make bureaucracy work for you! The government will contact your landlord and if they don’t comply they will be fined! The threat of losing money is a mighty motivator and they’ll most likely get their shit together within a day or two.
My ceiling was leaking for two weeks without me hearing anything from management besides “we’ll get to it”. Literally the DAY after I emailed the code enforcement department, management came by with a contractor to give me estimates on when my roof would be fixed. This shit works y’all
I don’t normally post or reblog about this on my Tumblr, but this is important. I tried this and it made our landlord so mad that they accused us of not letting them in to fix the apartment, told code enforcement these lies, and threatened to evict us. If you do this, make sure you document EVERYTHING.
the exclusionists have won. They’ve excluded everyone. My god.
For reference, “allos” = “allosexual” = “anyone who isn’t asexual / isn’t on the asexual spectrum” so, according to whichever galaxy-brained exclusionist wrote the screenshotted post, no one who’s ace or who isn’t ace is LGBT. Not a single one of us
If you can’t read the second image, here’s the text:
Holy shit, this is still being posted?
I figure I owe /tg/ a bit of an update on these guys.
Their leader, O he of one eye and little common sense, nearly had his visa revoked for these kinds of shenanigans. One too many arrests meant that his right to stay in the country was contested, and he had to go to court to defend himself and prevent his visa from being revoked.
I was his ride to court, and had to testify to the board that he shouldn’t be deported for lack of common sense or social normalty.
His defense? A written speech, about three pages long, about the rights of man, the education he has received here, and the opportunities for a one-eyed machinist. The spirit of his crimes were all in defense of people who would otherwise suffer. For other witnesses, he had some of the random people he’d helped out, including one memorable point where a woman, nearly on the verge of tears, pointed out how he’d taken on a guy threatening to rape her and carrying a knife by whipping out a fencing saber, disarming him, and mocking him in his thick Swedish accent so that the girl could call the cops. Something like a dozen people all showed up, explaining how this dude, despite his eccentricities, made the country better.
He was not deported, and lives here to this very day, stalking the streets in musketeer garb, rescuing drunks, and dispensing his own brand of justice.
